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Patty: Today we have characters Trent and Carrie from Oh Stupid Heart by Liza O’Connor. They want to talk about Spaceships.
Carrie: Thank you so much for having us on your site. It’s a real honor.
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Trent: Nonsense, the honor is Patty’s. We brought spaceships. Do you have any idea how much a spaceship costs? I didn’t. Had I known, I would have suggested we go somewhere that I could show off my limo. It only cost a million.
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Patty: That’s right, you’re a billionaire with no sense of value.
Trent: Nonsense, I have an excellent sense of value. Carrie is the most valuable thing I possess.
Carrie: He doesn’t mean ‘possess’.
Trent: Yes, I do. You are the most important thing in my life. Since I couldn’t survive a day without you, I feel most possessive over you.
Carrie: *pats his arm and smiles at Patty* Trent has a good heart, but he’s not very good at expressing himself.
Trent: I thought I was quite clear. You are mine and no one else can have you.
Carrie: *grips Trent’s hands* You are giving Patty and her readers a very bad impression of our relationship. I am not a ‘thing’or a possession. I am your executive assistant who has fallen in love with you.
Trent: And me with you. You are the first person in my entire life I have loved.
Carrie: *smiles* I know, but others will think poorly of me if you refer to me as your thing or possession. Your driver does enough harm by calling me your ‘toy’.
Trent: If I hadn’t promised my father on his deathbed never to fire Sam, and if he wasn’t the best driver in the world, I would fire him for calling you that.
Carrie: It’s not a firing offense, it’s just annoying.
Patty: Can we discuss spaceships?
Trent: Let’s do that, because my spaceship costs $2 million for a day’s rental and I intend to return it by the end of today.
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Trent: This is the Cylon Fighter created by NBC Universal Gallatica Inc. Turns out they have a secret industry building spaceships to Foreign planets with the agreement they will not fire upon Earth.
Patty: And why did you choose this one?
Trent: I like its threatening look. A cross between a scorpion and a black widow spider. Thus like my gangster hats, I’m hopeful if it’s threatening enough, I won’t have to…threaten that is.
Patty: And Carrie, did you bring a spaceship as well?
Carrie: I did. Since I’ve yet to be reimbursed for my business trip to Taiwan, I had a budget of $0 to obtain my spaceship, but I found an excellent one all the same. Liza O loaned me hers.
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Trent: It looks like a junk heap.
Carrie: Actually Liza bought it from a space junk planet. She says the insides are more ghastly than the outsides. But that suits me fine for my purpose.
Patty: Which is?
Carrie: I’d like to send the following people for a long one-way voyage to the center of our galaxy to check out the dark area in the center where there is a spot that doesn’t allow light to escape.
Patty: The dormant black hole?
Carrie: Yes, I’d like to know if it’s completely dormant or if you just have to drive into it to be crushed into oblivion.
Trent: And who are you planning to send on this ship?
Carrie: I was thinking our business transformation would go so much smoother if we sent away
Coco, Trent’s ex-fiancée who wants him back; Grant, my replacement EA who is a jerk;and his nosy girlfriend Angela
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Trent: Why would we send off Angel? She’s delightful.
Carrie: It’s An-gel-LA, not Angel and she spends her entire time trying to dig up dirt on you and me.
Patty: Okay! I need to transport you two to separate corners so you can calm down. Although I have to say, Carrie, I’m glad to see you aren’t a doormat.
Trent: Is that what you thought when I called her a ‘thing’ and my possession. *turns to Carrie* I am sorry. I will never use those words again.
Patty: Still transporting to different corners…
There, they’re gone. Really strange couple. Let’s find out a bit more about them.
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Oh Stupid Heart
Book Two of: A Long Road To Love
Humorous Contemporary Disaster Romance
By
Liza O’Connor
Blurb:
Carrie Hanson is in love with a different species: Trent, a pampered, uber-rich socialite who’s also her boss. Everyone keeps telling her it’s a train wreck looking to happen, but her heart wants what it wants. So despite the billion and one reasons not to, Carrie commits to this inter-species relationship. But while she’s off being trained for her new job responsibilities, a beautiful ex fiancée is working hard to get Trent back and Carrie fired.
Excerpt:
As the train filled with lesser quality people all talking on their cell phones, the noise and cacophony of smells began to irritate Trent. If not for the pleasure of holding Carrie, he would have demanded the conductor stop the train and let them off so he could have his driver rescue them. The train barely picked up speed before it slowed down, stopped, and allowed more people on. They just kept coming and coming. His glare discouraged a few people from sitting on the other side of Carrie, but eventually an old, heavyset black woman collapsed in the seat with a sigh.
“Don’t normally get to sit,” she muttered, and released a heavy sigh of exhaustion. Her faded, crumpled, threadbare clothes looked as tired as she did.
The conductor stopped and demanded five dollars. She pulled out a coin purse and tried to pay him in quarters.
“No coins.”
The woman put a calloused hand to her forehead and shook her head. “It’s all I got.”
“Not my problem,” the conductor said.
“Take her fee out of the change you owe me,” Trent snapped. Why did the guy have to be such a jerk?
The guy clicked more paper then thrust a ticket into her coin-filled hand. Finally, he handed Trent three twenties.
“And a five,” Trent growled.
The conductor muttered softly and thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out a five. He glared at Trent. “You’re only getting this, because of her.” He nodded at Carrie. “Otherwise, you’d pay a second service fee.” He handed Trent the bills and stormed off.
The old woman flashed Trent a weary smile, displaying brown and yellow teeth, which made him slightly nauseous.
His grandmother had always said “Never engage with the common people. Perform all charity at a distance.”
“Thank you for the ticket. They’re so expensive, especially since I got sick last month and needed medicine. I didn’t have any money left to buy a monthly ticket.”
“How much is a monthly ticket?” he asked.
“$125.00. But I don’t have it, so I’m paying ten dollars a day. And I only make sixty a night, forty once they take out taxes.”
“What do you do?”
“I clean an office building. Job starts at 8 p.m. and I have to be done by 5 a.m. with no excuses. If I don’t show, or I don’t finish, I get fired.”
He retrieved his wallet, culled two hundred, and added it to the change the conductor had returned. He passed it to the woman. “Here’s enough to buy the monthly ticket and a bit extra to put aside to buy medicine the next time you get sick.”
The woman studied the hundred dollar bills. “Are these real?”
“I assume so. I got them from the bank.”
The woman’s brow furrowed and handed them back to him, keeping the twenties and five. “I can’t afford to get arrested. I’ll lose my job.”
Never had a person refused his money before. It hurt his feelings and frustrated him. Damn it, I wanted to be charitable. Why can’t the damn woman just do her part?
A Long Road to Love
Book Two
Oh Stupid Heart
Book One
Worst Week Ever
To Follow the 2nd Craziest Blog Tour
for
Oh Stupid Heart
Liza O’Connor
Author Bio:
Liza lives in Denville, NJ with her dog Jess. They hike in fabulous woods every day, rain or shine, sleet or snow. Having an adventurous nature, she learned to fly small cessnas in NJ, hang-glide in New Zealand, kayak in Pennsylvania, ski in New York, scuba dive with great white sharks in Australia, dig up dinosaur bones in Montana, sky dive in Indiana, and raft a class four river in Tasmania. She’s an avid gardener, amateur photographer, and dabbler in watercolors and graphic arts. Yet through her entire life, her first love has and always will be writing novels. She loves to create interesting characters, set them loose, and scribe what happens.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT
LIZA O’CONNOR &
SAVING CASEY:
Liza’s Blog and Website Facebook Twitter
Other Books by Liza O’Connor
Now Available:
Coming Soon:
Coming To Reason
Ghost Lover
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